i will never coherently bang her
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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