Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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