"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She announced her abortion via fbk
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
