I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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