How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
