My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
