We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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