I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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