just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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