before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
