ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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