Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
