at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
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He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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