I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
