Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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