just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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