if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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