I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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