Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
