I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
