She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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