i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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