May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
