Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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