Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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