Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
