the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need moral support for this bender
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
