everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
