Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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