didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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