careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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