Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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