Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
