If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
