just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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