Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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