I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
