Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
