eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
