Sry I called you an 8
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
