I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
