I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
