There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
