i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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