check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
