Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sorry my hands just texted you
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
