Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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