my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize