my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
