Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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