"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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