Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize