as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
me + whiskey = a bad person
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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