I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.