We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.