weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life