Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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