she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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