Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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