And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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