Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
